


Ah shit here we go again

by godlessAdversary



Series: The Akechi and All For One Saga [2]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Bigotry & Prejudice, Bishounen, Crossover, Erotica, F/F, F/M, Gender or Sex Swap, Gender transformation, Jojo's bizarre adventure - Freeform, Made in Abyss - Freeform, NSFW, Sex, Sex Change, Stereotypes, The Homestuck Epilogues, Tumblr, Unwanted Transformations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-10-29 04:50:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20790917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godlessAdversary/pseuds/godlessAdversary
Summary: Akechi and All For One have done it again and have turned Joker into a woman. How will Joker deal with this sudden complete change of his body?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have decided to turn this erotic comedy one shot into a short story. I hope you get some laughs out of the absurdity happening.

**Conversation AKIRA X MAKOTO 4EVER**

Joker: Babe… I think something weird happened again.

Makoto: Weird? Which kind of weird?

Joker: The same kind of weird where your body got transformed.

Makoto: Oh shit! Not again!

Joker: Please come to Le Blanc. I can’t get out like this.

Makoto: I am on my way.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Akira, I am here.” Said Makoto while walking the stairs towards Joker’s room. “What is happen-”

Makoto saw a black-haired woman on the couch, and she was wearing Joker’s clothes.

“OH, YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU CHEATED ON ME?! WHERE ARE YOU MOTHERFUCKER?!”

“Babe, it’s me.” Said the mysterious girl.

Makoto’s jaw dropped wide with the surprise and rapidly approached his boyfriend to look at his new appearance.

“Unholy Satanael, you look beautiful!”

“Thanks, but this isn’t something convenient for me. I went to the bathroom many times already, and these big boobs are killing my back.”

Joker touched his new boobs, making Makoto blush.

“S-so, you got transformed into a woman now? Not a trap or a futanari?”

“I can show you my vagina.”

“No!... Okay, yes.”

Joker removed his boxers and showed his new female genitalia to his girlfriend.

“Yours has more hair than Ann’s!”

“How do you know what Ann’s vagina looks like?”

“I once accidentally caught Ann showing her privates to Ryuji in a stupid bet they were doing at the rooftop. Those two are too kinky to live.”

“Okay, back on the current topic, I can’t go to Shujin like this, so I had to call Ms. Kawakami and ask for a favor.”

“Wait, how well do you know Kawakami?” asked Makoto with a serious a jealous voice.

“It’s nothing like that!”

“He has paid her to be his maid.” Said Morgana from a corner of the room.

“Morgana?!” Shouted Joker. “You were spying on us?!”

“Don’t change the subject, Akira.” Makoto looked really pissed.

“I just like appearing when least expected.” Morgana grinned. “Nye heh heh.”

Joker had to do a long explanation about Ms. Kawakami, and that somehow became more important for the moment than Joker’s current situation. Makoto isn’t someone you should keep secrets from.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At the reunion spot in Shibuya.

“So… your boobs are real?” asked Ryuji.

“Yes, Ryuji.”

“Can I touch them?” asked Futaba.

“Makoto, did you choose that dress?” asked Ann. “Joker looks so cute!”

“She dressed me like a doll for the whole day.” Said Joker. “She even took me to get my nails painted.”

“Don’t tell me you didn’t have fun.” Said Makoto with a devilish smile.

“I am impressed by the work done.” Said Yusuke. “Joker almost looks like a woman.”

“I am a woman.”

“Wait, is Joker a trans woman? This actually makes sense in retrospective with his mannerisms and fashion.”

“Thanks for destroying my masculinity, Yusuke.”

“Well, technically Joker is actually trans.” Said Haru. “Since he identifies as a man but is now inside a female body. It’s like when last week the other girls and I got masculine genitalia and reduced breasts.”

“I think we also got other masculine organs.” Said Makoto while remembering how she lost her virginity with Joker in all senses.

“Now I am wondering if what Makoto did to Joker counts as offensive or not.” Haru began pondering about that.

“Watch out, we have a woke person.” Said Futaba. “Do you spend too much time in Tumblr, rich girl?”

“What is a tumble?” asked Haru.

“Don’t worry, Haru.” Said Makoto. “I think Joker may have liked the experience.”

Joker blushed at that comment.

“Also, I kind of punished him for keeping certain secrets.”

“I said I am sorry!” said Joker with the most tsundere voice possible.

“You look so cute when you are flustered.”

Makoto kissed Joker on the lips in front of everyone else.

“Girl on girl action is hot!” shouted Ryuji before being hit in the balls by Ann.

“AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!”

“Anyway…” Ann intervened. “Haven’t you all noticed that there’s something off here?”

“What do you mean?” asked Morgana.

“Jesus Christ, Morgana! You have to stop appearing like that!”

“Sorry, Lady Ann.”

“What I was saying, is that there’s something off about the recent transformation. When we were transformed into whatever we were transformed, we looked like women, but our bodies were those of men on a reproductive level, like if we became the stereotypical anime trap that looks like a woman but is actually male as part of some joke.”

“A really offensive joke.” Said Haru.

“Continue your exposition before she becomes an SJW.” Said Futaba.

“However, Joker got transformed into a woman, with all the characteristics of a really beautiful woman. By this same logic, we should have been transformed into masculine men, but we retained our femininity.”

“Eww!” said Ryuji. “I can’t imagine being with a manly-”

Ann slapped Ryuji’s head.

“We are this close to getting a divorce.”

“We aren’t even married!”

“Ann,” intervened Makoto. “So, what you are saying someone is doing this transformation on the basis of anime stereotypes?”

“Yes, and somehow all these transformations have happened in relation to Joker. Let’s think about this. Why wasn’t Ryuji or Yusuke transformed?”

At that moment, the gears inside Makoto’s head began spinning and she looked at Joker furiously.

“Have you been dating all the girls of our team?!”

“No! I just hang out with them to maximize their arcana.”

“What the fuck is an arcana?!”

The conversation got heated up about the implications of the transformations, and Morgana was in a corner waiting for Ryuji to fuck up so he could seduce Ann. He was a vengeful cat.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Wanna talk about it?” said Joker to Makoto.

The two were resting in the same bed, but not doing anything intimate. They just liked the company of each other, but Makoto was furious.

“Do you even love me?” said the brunette.

“I do love you.”

“I am sure you said that to the other girls.”

“C’mon, babe.” Joker approached Makoto and spooned her. “You are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

“But what if you get bored of me?”

“Do I really get bored with you? This morning you took me to shop fancy dresses, and last week I sucked your dick.”

Makoto blushed at that comment.

“Why are you like this?”

“Because I am crazy for you, officer Niijima.”

“You are terrible!”

“I know.”

Makoto turned around and faced Joker.

“No more secrets, please Akira.”

“I promise.”

“And I will also reveal a secret: I think you look hot right now.”

“Hoo Boy!”

“Can I?”

“Oh yes!”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Conversation **GRRRRL POWER**

Ann: So how did it go?

Makoto: Amazing! I didn’t know lesbian sex would feel so great! I mean, there was no penetration, but he was so good I felt like in heaven!”

Haru: I thought we were going to discuss feminist topics, not our personal sexual lives.

Ann: Feminism isn’t the same as being a prude.

Makoto: You didn’t make this conversation for feminism, Ann.

Ann: I know, but we still have to be proud of our achievements. Joker probably talks about this with the boys and Futaba.

Haru: Why isn’t Futaba in this conversation again?

Makoto: She is still in middle school and we had to warn her about not sending nude pics to Yusuke.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Conversation **HOMESTUCK FAN CLUB**

Ryuji: Those epilogues sucked, man!

Joker: I heard Pesterquest is going to continue where the epilogues left.

Yusuke: I don’t know, I think there’s some deep meaning about metanarrative and fandoms. We either follow a plot that may be controlled by an unreliable narrator or be free and face the consequences of our freedom.

Futaba: [PHOTO SENT]

Yusuke: STOP YOUR FOOLISHNESS! YOU ARE RISKING OUR CONVERSATION WITH INAPPROPRIATE EROTIC FANARTS!

Ryuji: I don’t know, that Vriska really looks hot.

Joker: I don’t want to talk about Vriska right now.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“This isn’t working.” Said Akechi. “Joker keeps overcoming every challenge like if it was just a petty game!”

“You are taking this too seriously.” Said the mysterious figure helping him. “It’s not about a big evil plan, but to cause minor inconveniences that will annoy people until they snap. This is how many office workers go postal.”

“So what minor inconvenience are you thinking about right now?”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joker woke up the next morning, still in female form.

“Good morning girls.” Said Joker while playing with his boobs. “Good morning also for my sweethe-HOLY SHIT!”

“Wha-” Makoto slowly woke up. “It’s too early, Akira.”

Joker stood up from his bed and was scared.

“What’s going on?” asked Makoto. “Wait, why does my voice sound weird?”

“Hello guys.” Said Morgana, who entered the room. “This is a sunny day and-OH MY GOD!”

“What is happening, sweetie? Why is Morgana scared? Why-”

Makoto felt a lack of breasts again.

“No no no no… not again… Oh thank goodness I don’t have a dick this ti-OH MY GOD!!!!”

“Everything is going to be okay.” Said Joker to try to calm his girlfriend.

“This isn’t fine! I-I-I am…”

Makoto stood up and she was only 1.30 meters tall, her musculature was absent, her breasts were small, and when she looked at a mirror, she saw that she looked younger.

“No no no no! I became the worst bigoted stereotype ever! I can’t even marry like this!”

Makoto began crying and Joker went to hug her.

“Everything is going to be all right.”

“Now everyone will think you are a predator!”

“With this female form everyone will think you are my little sister.”

“You are making it worse!”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I told you, Pancake boy, that the power of minor inconveniences was strong enough to cause despair.”

“This is perfect!” Akechi began to laugh. “Now Joker’s love life is ruined!”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You look so cute!” said Ann.

“I don’t want to be cute!” said Makoto while being angry. “I want to be hot and mature again!”

“Joker did you two…” Yusuke tried to say something awkwardly. “If you… do I have to call the authorities?”

“Why are you asking that?!” said Joker. “I am not a monster!”

“I am just trying to be sure.”

“Okay, these transformations are definitely about Joker.” Said Ann. “It’s as if someone is obsessed with ruining anything happening between you two.”

“But who would transform me into a woman and Makoto into a-”

“Don’t say that word, Akira. I don’t want to be referred as that.”

“Sorry, honey.”

“And don’t say nicknames in public! This feels so wrong! I don’t want Sae to look at me like this!”

“Don’t worry, Makoto, we are going get our bodies back.”

“Oh, Akira.”

“I really feel uncomfortable watching you two being lovebirds while in your current condition.” Said Ann. “We better find out what is happening before Yusuke calls the police.”


	2. The Phantom Thieves vs All For One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto doesn’t like what happened to her body, and now the Phantom Thieves have to catch the jerks that have been messing with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are confused by this story, then watch the Perfect Cell vs All For One videos.

At some dark place in the Metaverse that isn’t Mementos, because Joker and his friends destroyed it.

“So far, the results have been amazing, All For One!” said Akechi. “Joker can’t do anything with his girlfriend, or he is going to prison again and for a longer time!”

“If he weren’t a goody two shoes she would be freed from her current predicament,” said the super villain. “But there’s a big joy in causing heroes to suffer because of their own ideals.”

“Hey, wanna convert the others to something else? I want to ruin the lives of the other Phantom Thieves too!”

“Of course I can, but didn’t you ask me to only inconvenience Joker just because you have tsundere feelings for him?”

Akechi blushed.

“I-It’s not like that! I just feel like they didn’t want to find out if I was alive or not after the other me shoot me! A-And why Makoto and not me?! I am brown haired, and I like police stuff too!”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Futaba, can you stop squeezing my cheeks!” said an angry tiny Makoto.

“You are so adorable!”

“Stop this nonsense! I am not a child!”

“So, how long is she…” Sojiro looked Fem! Joker. “How long are you two going to be like this?”

“We have been like this for a week.” Said Joker. “Trying to explain this to Sae wasn’t easy. I don’t know what was worse, her surprise at me being a woman, or her surprise at Makoto looking like a minor.”

“How does it feel the karma, Makoto?” asked Futaba with a smug smile. “How does it feel?”

“This isn’t karma, and you should stop sending nu-” Makoto turned around to Sojiro and realized she would make Futaba get into trouble. “Nu-numerous memes! Yes! Memes!”

Futaba sighed with relief.

“We do plan to find out who is responsible for the transformations.” Said Joker. “Morgana said that there have been traces of someone visiting our homes at night, and recently, Ryuji and Ann became victims of another transformation that they don’t want to talk about.”

“Jesus!” Said Sojiro. “First you had to fight Shido and that evil god and now this? You kids can’t get a break soon enough.”

Sojiro served some plates of curry to the three thieves, and Makoto tried to eat fast but got her tongue burned.

“Ah!” Screamed Makoto. “This curry is too hot!”

“Let me cool it for you.” Said Joker, who began to blow some air to her food.

The two then realized how they looked in front of the Sakuras.

“Don’t look at me like that!” Shouted Makoto.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At Dome Town.

“Are you sure this is the place, Mona?” asked Joker. “Walking all this way in heels isn’t comfortable.”

“Yes, I am cert-Why are you wearing heels?”

“Makoto said I looked pretty with them.”

“He does!” giggled Makoto.

“Even in your current condition you lovebirds make me feel weird, and speaking about stuff that makes me uncomfortable, where’s Lady Ann and that idiot?”

“Hi, guys!” said a deep yet feminine voice.

Joker, Makoto, Futaba and Morgana turned around freaked out at the sight of the blonde couple.

“I know I look horrible!” said Ann while crying.

Ann looked like a highly muscular woman with an anatomy that was quite BIZARRE, and she emanated an aura of doom that somehow could be visible through some Japanese symbols.

“There there.” said Ryuji while trying to calm his girlfriend. “We are gonna get out of this, I promise.”

Ryuji on the other hand looked like a bishounen CLAMP character with beautiful eyes and a handsome face, and really tall legs.

“I am living the dream!” said Futaba with excitement. “We have a CLAMP, a Jojo, a Ranma ½ and a lo-HOLY FUCK?!”

Futaba pointed at whatever Haru had been transformed.

“I found Haru on my way here and I had to help her each time she faced stairs.” Said Yusuke. “I don’t know what she is, and she seems to be I pain.”

“I can feel my arms, but I can’t see them!” said Haru. “Please help me! I keep falling from the stairs!”

Haru looked like a sprite from a famous webcomic, and she moved like some old school flash animation.

“IT KEEPS HAPPENING!!!!” Screamed Futaba.

“Guys, we have to defeat this villain before they turn Futaba or Yusuke into something worse.” Said Mona.

“What can be worse than looking like this?!” Makoto pointed at herself.

“The internet is full of horrors.” Futaba shivered with fear.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At a pancake restaurant themed Palace.

“Hear me out,” said All For One. “What if we modify the YouTube algorithm so every reaction video gets demonetized instantly?”

“Perfect!” Akechi looked excited. “There are too many reaction videos, and many people would begin rioting! So much chaos!”

“Stop right there!” Shouted Joker, who was wearing his Phantom Thief suit but with cleavage and high heels.

“Akechi?!” Makoto was confused. “We thought you died!”

“I even cried for you!” said an apparently armless Haru. “And now you transformed me into this?!”

“Goddammit All For One, how did they find us?!”

“My young evil companion, that is clearly obvious: I attracted them here on purpose.”

“What?!”

“What?” said the Phantom Thieves.

“I, All For One, planned to have the Phantom Thieves of Heart enter into this multiversal pocket dimension so I can torture them and force them to see how I ruin their world with my nefarious, unforgivable and cruel plans. Also, Akechi, you were the one that decided to reunite at a pancake restaurant.”

“Make me old again or I will kick your ass!” Shouted Makoto.

Makoto summoned a bicycle Persona, Sor Juana, and tried to strike the super villain, but her attack was deflected by a kinetic barrier and she fell.

“Makoto!”

Joker ran towards his girlfriend.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes, but don’t hold me like a damsel in distress. I am tiny, not weak!”

“Trying to defeat me with your powers is futi-”

“ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Ann smashed All For One until he became a pulp of blood and black fabric.

“My girlfriend is a badass!” said Ryuji with sparkling eyes.

“I still feel weird having these big arms that shouldn’t be anatomically possible.”

The moment of celebration was interrupted when All For One began to rise again, even with a gory re-accommodation of his bones.

“I told you this was futile, for you see, I, All For One have mastered thousands of powers from my own world, and to prove how merciless I am.”

All For One shoot a beam of light at Futaba.

“Futaba!” Screamed Yusuke.

The artist ran to see if his “girlfriend” was okay. He gasped with horror.

“You monster! What have you done to her?!”

“I took some inspiration from a fellow evil doer named Bondrewd.”

“Mwhee… Mwheeeee…”

Futaba looked like a mutated furry that was melting.

“You still are beautiful you are still beautiful you are still beautiful…”

Yusuke cradled the mutated Futaba in his arms and the two were crying.

“Don’t worry, you can just incinerate her to free her from her pain. You can say hello to Mitty from me.”

“That’s it!” said Joker with a firm voice. “You are an unforgivable monster and deserve to be punished.”

“I am not a monster; I am a god.”

The walls of the palace began to crumble, and around the Phantom Thieves and Akechi rose tall buildings covered with images and statues of the villain, but also with a lot of 4chan iconography and many people around looked like badly drawn anime characters.

“This is my palace, the whole world full of otakus and weebs, and as the god of this world I will cause grief to all the goody two shoes, the normies, the casuals and the wet blankets that can’t take how much of an asshole I can be!”

“Well, I know someone who can defeat gods. PERSONA!”

Joker summoned his new persona, Irene.

“Arsene?”

“Now I am Irene, what is your command?”

“I want to summon Satanael.”

“Satanael isn’t currently available, but there’s someone of equal power that you can summon.”

“Okay, that will do.”

Joker broke the chains surrounding him and a green light began to shine over the city of grief. A giant figure walked through the streets and with mighty expressionless eyes glared at the tiny people below him. Joker saw the figure, and realized it looked like a plush frog.

“Sup, bitches.”

“… Who are you?”

“I am Kermit, Kermit the Frog. Disney owns my ass now.”

The Phantom Thieves looked so done with everything that was happening, and even Futaba, who was is an agonizing state, rolled her eyes.

“What the fuck is that thing, All for One?!” asked Akechi.

“That is an idiot that I like to grief on my spare time.”

“Can you kill that asshole?” asked Joker to the giant frog.

“The first one is free.”

Kermit took All For One with one of his giant hands and hold him directly to his face.

“You know you can’t get rid of me so easily, Kermit.”

“I know, but right now I have temporary mod rights and you are banned from this universe.”

“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-”

And with that the reign of terror of All For One ended. Kermit suddenly changed to a smaller size and approached the Phantom Thieves.

“This is the third universe this week I have to save. It’s getting annoying.”

“Thanks.” Said Joker.

“Whatever, just don’t tell Cell about this.”

“Hey, can you transform us back? I don’t mind being a girl, but my girlfriend was transformed into a lo-I mean a minor.”

“I don’t see a problem with-”

“Listen up, you plush ass!” Makoto approached Kermit and pointed at his face. “If I don’t return to my legal age, I will rip apart all your fabric and stuffing!”

“Jeez, your woman has rage issues. Okay, I will return you all to normal so Atlus doesn’t sue me.”

The powerful frog snapped his fingers and then all of the Phantom Thieves looked like their normal selves.

“I have boobs again!” Shouted Makoto with joy.

“I have my shape back!” Shouted Ann while slapping her own ass.

“I have my arms back!” Haru hugged herself.

“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” Screamed Futaba. “I can scream in pain! That was horrible! I promise to be a good girl!”

“I will miss my boobs.” Said Joker. “Makoto, can I…”

“Yes, you can still cross-dress.”

Joker kissed Makoto, and then Ryuji and Ann did the same. Futaba teased Yusuke about it, but he just kissed her forehead, making her blush.

“Well, we are the only single ones, Haru.” Said Morgana.

“Actually, I met someone in Tumblr.”

“You traitor!”

“This is certainly awkward.” Said Kermit.

“Oh no, you won’t get a happy ever after!” said Akechi, who was still there. “Do you guys know what is like to wait for Atlus to rewrite my story so I can be alive in the next game?! It’s been two years and I have been hiding in this restaurant waiting for my time to shine again as a redeemed villain and possibly a romance option! And to make things worse, I just found out that the game will retcon some stuff, making this continuity a different canon! I wasted my time!”

“Two years?” asked Ryuji. “Dude, it’s has been just a few months, and what are you talking about a ‘next game’ and ‘romance option’?”

“You don’t get it! I have seen outside the canon and it’s horrible! I have become a meme punchbag! Pancakes this! Pancakes that! I am more than just a crazy villain that likes pancakes! I have feelings and a tragic backstory that makes me sympathetic!”

“What an edgelord.” Said Kermit. “You guys better deal with him on your own. I am out of here.”

Kermit teleported away, leaving only a small sound of ‘poof’.

“Let’s get out of here.” Said Makoto.

“Agree.” Responded Joker.

The Phantom Thieves marched away from the restaurant, leaving behind Akechi.

“B-but… I love you, Joker!” Screamed Akechi. “… Dammit. Well, I better catch up on life I guess.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joker and Makoto were resting naked on his bed after “celebrating” being able to have sex without Yusuke calling Sae.

“Akira, is that my underwear?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, just making sure. Hmmm… have you thought about what is Akechi doing? We left him alone.”

“He will be fine. I asked Mona to keep an eye on him in exchange for some tuna.”

“You know my sister could arrest him any time.”

“Yes, but from what we saw that guy just needs to realize life isn’t just being angry all the time. If he does try to do something evil again you can kick his ass.”

“Deal.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At a small apartment where the only artificial light comes from a computer screen.

Morgana looked through a window and observed how Akechi was typing furiously on his computer.

“And then Joker said _‘Oh, Akechi! Embrace me with your strong arms. We were chosen by the gods to be with each other and no one can understand us.’_. Wahahahaha!!!!”

“Fanfic writers.” Mumbled Morgana with disgust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this story, readers.


End file.
